All of us have self doubt.  And our biggest fear is not encountering a Grizzly bear on a hike, but rather the fear of failure. So we all need help. We need parents, mentors, friends and fellow fighters to spur us on, and encourage us and teach us. Most of us are aware of some exceptional people in our lives that are not necessarily involved in our lives, but are in enough proximity for us to realize how we would benefit from their influence. It could be a teacher, a friend of a friend, a businessman, a pastor. Anyone you admire enough that you recognize you could benefit from a connection them. In my life, the invisible wall that keeps me from connecting with them can be a bit elusive, and difficult to put the hammer to.

When it comes to these kinds of relationships, many of us are like innovative startups, struggling along.

But instead of overestimating the value of our business (as done on Shark Tank), we go the other way.

We underestimate our value.

We see investors walking by within arms reach, but we don’t believe we’re “that good.”

We don’t believe we’re worth investing in.

Sometimes we get lucky.

The investor just happens to stumble upon us, or a friend brags about us and the connection happens.

And she jumps on the opportunity, and invites you for coffee.

Many of us could reach far more of our potential if we simply believed that we are good soil, and worth someone’s time.

Even someone with a lot of money, or in a very high position of influence or success.

A few seconds before you’re about to pick up the phone to call that potential mentor, or shoot off an email, your old friends Fear and Self-deprecation start talking in your head.

“They don’t have time for you. Who are you, to think they should share their valuable time with you?”

It’s important to understand one thing Bill Johnson once said:

The enemy would love to get you into a conversation.

Nehemiah had one of these situations when one of his enemies wanted to talk to him in the valley of Ono.

Nehemiah’s response?

I am doing a great work and I cannot come down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and come down to you? Nehemiah 6:3

If the enemy can’t get us to fall then he wants to get you busy talking and get us off track, so we pour our energy, time and effort into an area where we have no promise, no prevailing word.”

It’s only when we agree to engage in the conversation, that we start to buy the lies.

“Oh, he probably doesn’t have time for me.”

“Oh, people pay her for her time… why would she want to sit down and have coffee with me?”

“What do I have to offer in this relationship? I don’t even know what we would talk about!”

And unlike Nehemiah we slip into the valley of “Oh-no” when we allow doubt and fear to creep in and keep us from believing the work we’re doing is “A great work.”

And it all starts with entering into a conversation with doubt and fear.

Nehemiah wouldn’t even talk to the enemy.

Many of us are one mentor-meeting away from having the courage necessary to do what we feel like we’re called to do.

When I was a student in Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry Banning Lesbischer, director of Jesus Culture, once shared a story with us.

At the time he was overseeing the Second Year students of BSSM.

He found himself dealing with a very severe situation that was going on in one of the families of his students.

He knew he was way in over his head, and had no idea what to do, so he ran to go get help from Danny Silk, the in-house expert on family relationships.

Danny was actually right in the middle of a meeting.

It didn’t stop Banning though.

Cracking the door open, he asked if he could talk to him for just a few minutes.

It was awkward.

“Uh… Banning, I’m in a meeting… can I talk to you later?” Danny whispered.

“I just need three minutes… it’s REALLY important.”

Danny reluctantly complied and stepped out of his office into the hallway.

In the few minutes they had, Danny gave him some tools and insight for the situation.

All of a sudden sudden, Banning knew what to do.

Banning went on to exhort us students:

Believe you are good soil! We are here for you! Interrupt us. Pursue us!”

Believe you are good soil.

Believe you are worth someone’s time.

None of us can fulfill the call on our life on our own.

We need people speaking into our lives.

We need people instructing us, and often times all we really need is a little boost of encouragement from someone older than us or more experienced than us who can simply remind us of our value, by believing in us, and sharing their time with us.

The challenge however, is this typically doesn’t happen unless we reach out.

So muster up some courage and reach out.

One other thing.

You have to be careful you don’t all allow your disgust with that presumptuous person running around sucking up all the attention, to sabotage your opportunities for growing and reaching out to people who most likely would love to invest in you.

“…but I don’t want to seem presumptuous!”

Most likely it’s not presumption, but simply a lie of false humility from the pit of hell.

Unless… it is presumption. In that case slap yourself and repent.

In reality the father and mother figures all around us are happy to pour into sons and daughters who are willing to reach out.

There are far too many amazing, underutilized fathers and mothers out there, who need someone to mentor.

How do you step over the fears that hold you back from reaching out to potential mentors in your life?

Please comment below.

 

Image courtesy of Pierre Lognoul